A few things are being moved around and added on to the site over the next few weeks, so expect the place to look a little messy and/or broken for a while!
I suck at accountability – but I have an idea
I seriously suck at holding myself accountable
Below, I go into at least a little detail about why this has become a real problem when it comes to achieving things that matter to me, but in case you’d rather not read through that ordeal, here’s a quick precis of what this post is about: I have something I really, really want to achieve but I can’t do it on my own. I enjoy writing and I’m pretty good at it, but I can’t write for myself. No amount of word tracking or magical apps for word sprints or promises from friends to read it actually helps me get it done. As I explain below, writing has become transactional for me as a result of decades of RP (see below if you dare).
So, after months of agonising over the audacity of even thinking about it, and a good three weeks trying to write this post, I’m actually asking for help.
Meal Preparation: Breakfast
This is probably my favourite meal of the day, though it wouldn’t matter if I ate it for breakfast or for dessert. It’s just so tasty and nutritious.
I used to prepare it from scratch the evening before so it could soak overnight, but, as with my other meals, I’ve started pre-preparing most of it for the week ahead to better manage my portions.
Preparing it while I’m waiting for my evening meal to be ready to serve meant I was hungry at the time and tended to put more into the mix than I really needed. I don’t need a workman’s breakfast for a day of transcribing or writing or editing!
Meal Preparation: Snacks
I never thought I’d be the sort of person who’d write a series of journal entries about food preparation.
I rarely react to food posts other people share, so I almost feel hypocritical writing about this. That said, this journal and all these entries are mostly for my own sake. I should write about that weird duality of writing to self for self that is journalling.
Anyway, I really love fruit. Fruit is sweet and juicy and flavoursome, and you can create some wicked taste combinations by mixing and matching. Strawberry, kiwi, and rockmelon (cantaloupe) are delicious together.
I don’t like canned fruit salad, though. That syrupy crap? Blech! Fresh all the way for me, thanks! Well, as fresh as possible when you buy it from the store.
Meal preparation: Lunch
I wrote recently about what can only be described as my seriously fucked-up relationship with food. There’s not really a lot of point in rehashing what was a pretty difficult entry to write, so I’ll just mention that this – food prep – is part of how I’m managing those issues.
Food prep solves my problem of hating – and I mean really hating – to cook/prepare food on a daily basis. I’d rather not eat or order out than face the stove or oven. I kinda miss the days of living on toast because pushing that button down is about as involved as I’ve ever wanted to be in making something to eat.
It turns out a diet that consists only of vegemite on toast is not a recipe for a long and healthy life, no matter what the ads say about the wonder that is vegemite.
I learned pretty quickly the value of preparing meals a month in advance for my animals, since I also prefer to feed them proper, biologically appropriate food. None of that bagged or tinned shit for my fur-children!
Unfortunately, given I prefer most of my meals to be fresh and raw (did you know there are fewer calories in raw veggies than cooked veggies?) I can’t really prepare meals that far in advance without freezing. I do freeze my dinners for a few weeks ahead because I like to make some sort of stew or sauce I can glop on potatoes or rice or pasta.
My fucked-up relationship with food
Disclaimer + Content Warnings
First of all, a lot of what I write below will not reflect well on a lot of people in my life. This is absolutely not my intention! While reflecting on some causes of certain conditions and situations I try to take into account historical context, remembering that it was a very different socio-cultural experience growing up in the late 70s and early 80s to the vastly more socially and psychological aware situation today.
My family didn’t set out to fuck me up! Most, if not ALL of my issues were entirely of my own creation based on my interpretation of what was happening at the time. There is literally no one to blame here but me.
This is a perfect example of separating personal truth from actual fact.
Sigil of Protection
There are a few designs out there for sigils of protection, and I noticed that diamonds and triangles seem to feature prominently. I liked how Laura Tempest Zakroff designed her sigil to defend transfolx, especially the use of the shield shape. Though I’d like to make my sigils as much my own as I can, I really can’t help but find inspiration in Zakroff’s stuff!
Tarot Reading 21-7-26
My Thoth deck has a penchant for sass and cheek and it can take a little longer to tune in to them after a hiatus. I’ve kept them and my oracle deck under my pillow for a couple of weeks before even daring to shuffle, because they tend to have an opinion about my neglect.
If ever there were a deck happy to scold a reader, this is that deck!
Oracle Reading 21-7-26
It’s been a while since I spent any time with any of my decks, and the first thing I did when I started shuffling was to apologise for my neglect and to hope that they are well and content. I consider each of my decks as being a spirit of unto themselves, and my Shamanic Healing deck has always been kind and friendly and empathetic.
I’d barely finished my first shuffle when the deck dropped the Transformation card literally into my lap.
Another Market Day
Saturdays have become my favourite day of the week thanks to Banjo’s New Norfolk Market.
Obviously, I go for the plants – all the plants! When both Passionary Plants and C & M Market Plants are both in attendance, it’s a great day for me! (Not so much for my bank account, but whatevs!) Add Bitta Sweet Co‘s vegan treats and it’s a trifecta of joy for me.
That was yesterday. Yesterday was a great day.
On the way down to C & M, I passed by a cluster of friends who knew exactly where I was going. Deb and Russell and Christine and Sharon all yelled out, “Don’t do it Amelia!” and all I could do was shrug helplessly and stumble my way to the plant stall.
The Terrarium Project
Ever have one of those days where you wake up with some random crazy idea stuck in your head for no apparent reason?
It was just such a morning that resulted in a few years of not doing a great job of keeping fish but still enjoying the keeping of fish. In hindsight it really wasn’t a great idea, though I was convinced of it at the time – I must have an aquarium and there must be fish in it!
Before the day was out, I had a little aquarium with a red betta called Robin and a corydoras called Hoover. My very first but by no means last fish.
Now, I’ll just play some aquarium video on repeat on the telly to avoid the mess.
A week and a half ago I sat up in bed with the random crazy idea stuck in my mind that I needed a terrarium. A few hours later I was at the discount store (Reject Shop for my local friends) and, lo, they had terrariums and they were ON SALE!
The Trailing Ivy Experiment
Part of my new found passion for creating an indoor jungle was the desire to have lots of lovely trailing plants. I, of course, had no idea exactly what sort of trailing plants were available, what they liked and/or needed, or what might be required to keep them alive.
This has been true for all my plants, and my success has been… variable?
I’ve mentioned my lessons in overwatering and my war against fucking fungus gnats. For all that I love having plants, I’m still learning how to keep plants.
So it was probably a little foolhardy of me to decide to trim some of the ivy holding up my back garden shed (that is so dilapidated I’m afraid the ivy is all there is holding it together) to try my hand at propagating my own trailing plants.