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plants

Another Market Day

Saturdays have become my favourite day of the week thanks to Banjo’s New Norfolk Market.

 

Obviously, I go for the plants – all the plants! When both Passionary Plants and C & M Market Plants are both in attendance, it’s a great day for me! (Not so much for my bank account, but whatevs!) Add Bitta Sweet Co‘s vegan treats and it’s a trifecta of joy for me.

 

That was yesterday. Yesterday was a great day.

 

On the way down to C & M, I passed by a cluster of friends who knew exactly where I was going. Deb and Russell and Christine and Sharon all yelled out, “Don’t do it Amelia!” and all I could do was shrug helplessly and stumble my way to the plant stall.

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The Terrarium Project

Ever have one of those days where you wake up with some random crazy idea stuck in your head for no apparent reason?

It was just such a morning that resulted in a few years of not doing a great job of keeping fish but still enjoying the keeping of fish. In hindsight it really wasn’t a great idea, though I was convinced of it at the time – I must have an aquarium and there must be fish in it!

Before the day was out, I had a little aquarium with a red betta called Robin and a corydoras called Hoover. My very first but by no means last fish.

Now, I’ll just play some aquarium video on repeat on the telly to avoid the mess.

A week and a half ago I sat up in bed with the random crazy idea stuck in my mind that I needed a terrarium. A few hours later I was at the discount store (Reject Shop for my local friends) and, lo, they had terrariums and they were ON SALE!

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The Trailing Ivy Experiment

Part of my new found passion for creating an indoor jungle was the desire to have lots of lovely trailing plants. I, of course, had no idea exactly what sort of trailing plants were available, what they liked and/or needed, or what might be required to keep them alive.

This has been true for all my plants, and my success has been… variable?

Buni Comic © 2018 Ryan Pagelow

I’ve mentioned my lessons in overwatering and my war against fucking fungus gnats. For all that I love having plants, I’m still learning how to keep plants.

So it was probably a little foolhardy of me to decide to trim some of the ivy holding up my back garden shed (that is so dilapidated I’m afraid the ivy is all there is holding it together) to try my hand at propagating my own trailing plants.

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Watering indoor plants

Alas, my poor peperomia, you were watered to death.

I’m a little embarrassed by how long it’s taken me to figure this out, and I’m not at all convinced that I DO have it figured out. I think the two questions all new plant keepers want answered are when to water, and how much?

I’m pretty sure all of us go through a phase of being either a neurotic over-waterer or a negligent under-waterer. That magical Goldilocks zone is reserved for long-time plant keepers – you know, the ones who’ve given their plants names and sing to them on weekends.

Unfortunately, I’m of the neurotic over-watering variety, much to my poor peperomia’s constant distress.

I really believed that keeping plants was like keeping pets, feed/water them on a schedule, give them some light, sit back and enjoy.

But no, it turns out different plants like different degrees of light, some prefer it warm, some prefer it cool, others need humidity. Some don’t mind hanging, others shit themselves, shrivel up and promptly die from agoraphobia or some shit.

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Fucking Fungus Gnats

Much as I love keeping indoor plants, and as much as I still need to learn about keeping them alive and thriving – seriously, I had no idea it would be more complicated than watering every so often – my greatest challenge so far has been fucking fungus gnats! Clouds of them have prowled my house like a street gang from the 80s, searching for an unsuspecting and vulnerable plant to demolish.

What are fucking fungus gnats?

If you know what these fuckers are, then you probably hate them as much as I do. If you don’t know what these fuckers are, then prepare yourself to hate them as much as I do.

Fucking fungus gnats (FFGs) are little flies that resemble fruit flies or mosquitos and have the same preternatural knack for vanishing as soon as you try to swat them out of the air.

Some meme I saw on Facebook, original source unknown.

They plant their evil, sap-sucking babies in the soil around plant roots and as they hatch from their rotten eggs and squirm about in the dirt, they latch onto those delicate roots and suck the life out of your precious plants.

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